Love is all you need...

Today is my father's fifty-something-th birthday and my family celebrated with a chocolate cake that came from a box, previously burnt candles, and hand-made cards. We sliced cake, slurped on melting Bluebell ice cream, and fell in and out of conversation while engulfing chocolatey goodness. Dad, having everyone at the table and enjoying his celebration, stated between mouthfuls that it was great to have everyone think of him on his birthday. Yes, my father is a sensitive man and probably wanted to hear 'we think of you every day dad' (in which we do) but instead we just responded collectively that we loved him and appreciated all he did. Although my sisters and I say this quite a bit (because he likes to hear it and plays 'woe is me' just to know he's appreciated) I believe it impacted him in a different way just by the look on his face. His eyebrows relaxed, the muscles underneath his cheeks rippled, his skin glowed. He was so warm and so happy, so full of love. His stance was intoxicating as I too while looking around the silent table began to feel full inside my stomach. I don't want to think it was just from the gigantic piece of cake my sister sliced for me, but of something I felt in my viens. Love, of course. I am a people person and on this spiritual journey, if you will, thus far I have tried to concentrate just on MY actions, to seclude myself completly and learn to indulge in my own emotions. I felt starved that way, like I wasn't recieving anything from it. I am one who has to be surrounded my people and while being alone may prove to be theraputic and telling at times, it doesn't make me FEEL at ease, at peace with myself and my surroundings. Maybe it's okay that I find inner peace through love of others and those around me. Perhaps this pulsing love around me is why I'm content with myself for the most part...to know I'm loved and can connect with others on an intimate level. I like to share experiences with others, gain their opinions, learn from their wisdom and experiences...this helps me learn and thus, grow. I find comfort driving down the highway with my best friend, coming down from a mountain side to safety, napping in my boyfriend's embrace, sitting with my family over a home-made chocolate cake...I find peace not from meditating in my closet or seeking solitary confinement in the woods but from existing with another, just existing whether that's going on a church camping trip or passing out on the couch. Yes, I'm interested in yoga and mental exercises, eastern religious practices to reach a personal high point, but perhaps with another or be able to strike a balance between the two. I feel this 'inner peace' in my day to day with people I love unconditionally and with those that love me back. I just need to keep up with my relationships, keep hugging, holding on, crying, laughing....loving.